1 Boy, 7 Billion Dead Guys Season Three: Telltale Game Season One
by Spacedragon1999
Summary: "Please, Jack," Carl begged, holding me back. His hands were tight on my shoulders. "Don't do this. I can't watch you turn into this... not again." I could feel Clementine's terrified eyes behind me, and I saw the fucking bastard cannibal beat to shit. It would be so easy to just end this now. Now I had a choice: the group's trust or their safety? Could I risk either one?
1. Chapter 1

**Hey, guys!**

**Here we go! The first chapter of Season Three! Hope it matches expectations!**

**Btw: NO NO NO! FUCK! FUH-HUH-HUCK! S5 MIDSEASON FINALE WAS UP ON MY SCREEN NOT 30 MINS AGO AND JUST... FUCK!**

**I've written my fanboy-induced rant below in Devil's Script - the words are written back to front - for those fearful of spoilers!**

**devoL ti dna detah ti ta eht emas emit! ehT gninnigeb saw ssadab (I naem, emoc no... kciR, hod! {elohssa poc si gnibbalb a doal fo tish} {kciR sghis ylderit dna stoohs sih gniyonna ssa} "... tush pu." Hah!) dna ti saw adnik gnitseretni htiw s'theB retcarahc noissergorp, tub neht ehs sah ot og dna teg flesreh dellik! tahW eht kcuf?! I saw yllanif yllaer gnikil reh dna won siht tihs sneppah! **

**By the way, this is my main series; the rest are ideas that I figured I should put up but this is my pride and joy, and I hope it reaches the success it once had again!**

**Anyway, enough of my sentimental blabbing, let's get started!**

**Chapter 1 - Newbies**

Carl and I followed Lee and Kenny through the woods, keeping a tight grip on our weapons in case Kenny tried anything. Our trust was harder to get, but even harder to lose. The only problem was if Kenny replied in kind. Something told me he expected a lot of loyalty, or he wouldn't trust you. But at the end of the day, that's all we have.

People we trust, and people we don't.

"We're here, guys," Lee announced, motioning past the break in the trees. We looked to see a motel standing alone on the side of the road, one side of the walkway brought down, broken. An RV stood in the middle, reminding me of Dale. The thought of the old man caused me to flinch in my step. Carl noticed, and nudged my hand. I glanced back and gave my half-smile in thanks. A woman in black with long brown hair and a look of concentration I'd only seen on Rick before he killed Dave and Tony. The rifle in her lap seemed out of place, unwanted, but she kept a tight hold of it. The fences at the front were being fixed and replaced by an old man - who looked like a walking wall - with a grumpy, angry face and another man in a black shirt and glasses with short cropped hair. A woman with blonde hair to her neck and a kind smile was standing at the pickup truck. A woman with a purple bubbly vest and short brown hair was sitting down next to two kids, cleaning a pistol that seemed to fit in her hands. The two kids were about eight or nine and were scribbling on pieces of paper. The little girl was wearing a pale yellow summer dress with an orange-brown striped long-sleeved shirt underneath and the hat on her head, with a big 'D', combined with her longish curly brown hair made it tip slightly, making her look cute. The boy looked a little older, with cropped brown hair and an orangey-brown shirt, and was biting his tongue as he examined the girl's drawing.

"Lee!" the woman on the RV called. "We heard shots. What happened out there?" She looked worried, until she caught sight of me and Carl. Then her expression became guarded, mistrustful. "Who the hell are those two?"

"Calm down, Lilly," Lee called back, looking like he didn't want to deal with her at the moment. "Just let us in."

The two big bins were moved out of the way and we walked in, immediately met with the entire group in all our faces. Some were wary, some hostile, others excited or welcoming. Carl and I exchanged glances, looking around.

"Okay, Lee, what the hell?!" Lilly hissed, trying to keep quiet. "You can't just pick people off the street and bring them in here?! What is going through your head?!"

Kenny patted us on the shoulders and cleared his throat quietly. "Why don't you two go into... that room over there? It's just the same old shit with her," he muttered tiredly. Carl and I looked at each other, then I felt a hand on my own, tugging at it.

The girl was standing there, nervously biting her lip, then gave an encouraging smile. "Come on, I'll show you." Her voice was sweet, innocent, and I couldn't help but try to smile back. "You don't want to get caught up in the argument. Really." She glanced sadly at Lee and Kenny arguing with Lilly and pulled at my hand again. I took Carl's and we were guided into outside room on the left. "This is it. Me and Lee are right next to you."

I nodded thankfully as she opened the door and we followed. It had two beds, one on each side, with slightly musty but otherwise perfectly well-made, a desk and cupboard were at the back and the window let enough light in to see, even with the curtains closed. It was small, cosy.

I liked it.

"I'm Clementine, by the way," she greeted shyly, hands clasped in front of her as she awkwardly swayed. Carl gave her a try at a smile and his eyes were glinting a little.

"I'm Carl. It's, um... nice to meet you?" It sounded more like a question; we weren't all that used to talking to anyone other than each other, but Clementine just smiled, shook his hand and turned to me.

I crouched down, groaning at my back. I heard her giggle a little at my unintended old-man impression. I smirked; the closest thing we had to a smile, and asked, "Think that's funny?" She tried to straighten her face, but another giggle got out. "Yeah, me too. I'm Jack." We shook hands and she ran out to see Lee.

Carl and I looked at each other, sighing, then actually did something we hadn't been able to do in a long time.

We hugged each other.

"Home, sweet home."

* * *

><p>We left after a few minutes, once we'd gotten a feel for the room, the nooks and crannies. My jacket swept the small gatherings of dust away before I stopped, looking up. The woman with short hair came up and smiled with her hand outstretched.<p>

"I'm Carley. Nice to meet you."

I gave her my half-smile and shook it. "Jack. You too."

Carl went next, shaking her hand and giving his name.

It went like that for about a minute.

"Mark. Used to be in the Air Force." Glasses dude.

"I'm Katjaa, Kenny's wife, and this is my son, Duck." Blondie and kid.

"Lilly." The bitchy leader. (AN: I don't hate Lilly, but she can be a right bitch at times)

"Humph. I'm Larry. Lilly's my daughter." Angry wall-man. Righto.

Now that the introductions had been made we all kinda went our seperate ways, Kenny climbed into the RV, Lilly was on top - with her rifle pointed down, right over him (I guess they didn't get on well) - Larry and Mark worked on the fence, Katjaa played with something near the truck, and Clementine and Duck went back to their drawings innocently, with Lee and Carley watching over them with smiles on their faces.

Not wanting to really be in amongst this group of strangers, Carl and I sat near the kids - well, technically, _we are kids_ as well, but I didn't feel like it. Lee straightened his jacket and Carley smiled kindly at us, which we both tried to return.

"So..." Lee began slowly. "... where are your people?"

Carl looked down and I took his hand, not really caring what the others thought; it was how we stayed sane - knowing the other person was actually there. "We, uh, got seperated," I told them curtly, at least I think it was curtly; might've been blankly. "Herd of walkers came through."

"I'm sorry to hear that." He sounded genuine, and Carley nodded, her eyes far away. Regret. It was an emotion I was well-versed in. But I didn't push.

"What happened to your face?" asked the boy, Duck. Clementine immediately sent him an angry glare and quietly berated him to leave us alone, but he just ignored her, still looking curiously at me.

I smirked. "The eye, or the scars?"

Duck thought for a moment. "...hmm, both?"

I nodded. "Okay. Well, the scars came from a broken glass. A big fatman stood on my face."

"Ouch!" Strangely enough, this didn't come from Duck, but from Clementine. "Did it hurt?"

"A lot," I told her, nodding. "Word of advice." I leaned in conspiratorially. "Don't get glassed by a guy with a ton of muscles."

Lee glanced at Larry warily, and a little angrily. Bad blood there.

"As for the eye, well, that was a stupid accident by a stupid woman." Both the kids' heads cocked at the same time. "I got lost in the forest and when I came out I got mistaken for a walker. Dumb, huh?"

Duck snickered a little at the absurdity; in hie eyes, I was clearly alive and well, and looked nothing like a walker.

"Kinda," he admitted, but an elbow from Clementine got him to shut up.

"Here." I glanced up.

Lilly was standing with two packets of crisps in her hand, and a bag in the other. A solitary packet of stale crisps for dinner? Yum, yum. But I didn't complain. Something told me that despite her attitude, she thought of us as one of them, now; if she had decent food, she'd make sure as many people got it as possible.

"Thanks," Carl told her, trying to smile as he took a packet. I followed his lead and took the other, nodding his words.

Lilly smiled a little at us. "No problem." She turned to the others, all giving them a bit of food for their dinner; it wasn't much, it would fight off the hunger pains, at least. Splitting it open, Carl and I shared a skeptical look before taking a ready-salted crisp each. It was dry, rough and bendy. And it made me even thirstier. But it was something.

At the kindness of this strange group and the feeling of some food in my stomach - berries don't count - I did something I hadn't done in a long time.

I smiled. An actual, bona-fide smile.

* * *

><p><span>Carl's POV<span>

I sat on my bed, looking over at Jack, who was sleeping. Or at least, he wanted me to think he was sleeping. He never did anymore, and he thought I didn't notice, but I did. And it worried me. I knew what was bothering him; sure, I missed my dad, my mom, and I'd do anything to get them back, but I didn't really have any responsibilities. He, on the other hand, had Riley. She was his world, and the thought that he'd failed her... it hurt to see him like this.

Also, I felt guilty. There was something I... I couldn't get rid of. A _feeling_ I'd had for a while, but it wouldn't get out of my head. Sighing, I hung my head as I remembered.

_Flashback  
><em>

_"By the way, you're not my best friend," he said, causing me to look down. But then his hand on my shoulder got me to look up into his smiling face._

_"You're my brother."_

_Half of me was warm and felt amazing, but the other half was cold and disappointed._

_I smiled, but it didn't reach my eyes. And I think he noticed._

_Flashback End_

Swallowing, I leaned back. Glancing over, I saw his eye was open, his patch wide and terrifying, and his scars deep, filled with horror. I wanted to go over and just... I don't know. When he was sad or angry it seemed like his wounds were darker, deeper, more evident, and he looked like and battle-scarred warrior with PTSD, not that there's a single living being who doesn't have that, but when he was laughing, grinning, cheerful and just plain happy, they were smaller, brighter, healed over. When his scars seemed to vanish, he looked like just another kid trying to play pirate. That was the Jack I missed, the Jack I wanted back.

So I went over and sat next to him on his bed. He made fake snoring noises, but it didn't fool me. I rolled my eyes, nudged him, and gave a half-smile as he looked up. I took his hand, telling him it was really me, and the moonlight shined on the healthy side of his face.

"Hey," I said softly, making his lips quirk upwards.

"Hey, yourself." He tightened his grip for a quick second then released slightly, asking, "Do you think we can trust them?" His voice wasn't worried, or taunting, but merely curious, sounding a lot like my dad when he turned to Daryl for help, which he'd been doing for quite a while before...

I looked down. "... yeah. Yeah, I do."

Jack glanced at me up and down, making me hold in my shiver, before giving his try at a smile. "Alright, then. Guess we're staying."

I twirked up the corners of my mouth before I caught the feeling of his hand on my arm. My mouth went dry and I began licking my lips, trying to hide what he couldn't even see.

"You okay?"

I just nodded, patting him on the shoulder, then rushed to my bed, looking away from him. I didn't have to look to catch the hurt look on his face, but I couldn't... I couldn't sit there any longer.

Nevertheless, I went to sleep with my small half-smile on my face.

* * *

><p><strong>Well, if you have half a brain, you know where this is going, and if you stop following or flame me just because of it, then I have two words to say: "Fuck. You."<strong>

**Seriously, I couldn't care less. This is my story. If you want something without this sort of thing, then write your own: I'm putting my time and effort into these chapters, not you.**

**Now that that's out of the way, goodnight!**

**SD OUT**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey, guys!**

**Not much to say, so let's get started!**

**Chapter 2**

_I stood near a motorway with my bow, quiver and machete on my back and Carl's hat on my head. It cast a brown disc over the top line of my sight, but I didn't touch it. I couldn't._

_I let out a breath and wiped away a few tears before an engine sounded down the road. My head snapped to the side to see a black car riding down my way. Hurriedly, I hid behind a tree and watched. Two men in some sort of uniform were driving whilst a familiar blonde face laid in the back, blood pouring from her head. My eye widened._

_Before the car had even passed I'd leaped onto it, grabbing the black aerial on the roof. The plastic-rubber was slippery beneath my fingers, but I held on, grunting in concentration._

_Until a pistol appeared out the window and fired. It didn't hit me, but it_ did _make me lose my grip and come crashing to the ground._

_I was whipped across the tarmac, stones tearing through my skin and when I began to slow down my forehead banged into a large rock, instantly dazing me. The pain was numb, barely there, so I got up and began walking as fast as I could. Carl's hat on my head somehow stayed on._

_"****!" I screamed the first few miles. "****!" I just kept on yelling the name, irrationally praying for just some sort of answer, but none came._

_I don't know how long I tracked; it must've been at least 100 miles, but each time I got a few dozen steps my vision blurred, my head felt light, my body heavy and my legs weak and I fell, hitting my head off the road again. Each time I got to my feet my vision got a little darker and my stumbles got even slower._

_Eventually my body gave out, I dropped like a sack of stones and my face just laid there on the ground. I couldn't move. I was too heavy. Too weak, too worn. Nothing was working. Carl's hat slipped off my head, landing in front of my eye, seemingly as tired as I was._

_I was alone as I laid on the tarmac, still and lifeless, then a walker dropped to its knees, pressed my shoulder and head forcefully into the ground and opened its jaws, lowering them to my neck as everything went dark just one more time..._

* * *

><p>I let out a breath as I left the room, Carl still snoring in his bed. We'd been staying in the motel for a couple weeks now, and we'd 'assimilated' okay. Sighing as the cold nipped at my face, I buttoned up my leather jacket and walked over to the RV, feeling the jacket sweep gatherings of dust from near my ankles. I have to admit: now that we were in one place, where I could actually admire it, the jacket made me feel kinda badass when I strode along. The thought made me smirk.<p>

"Hey, Lilly," I said tiredly, trying (and failing) to hold back a yawn. "Morning."

"Morning, Jack." She sounded even more tired than me, and that was saying something. "How'd you sleep?"

I smiled. "Eh, fine. Is there anything I can do?"

"Sure," she replied, a little thankfully. "Lee, Kenny and Mark are going on a hunt, and you're handy with that bow. I'd really appreciate it if you went with them; God knows we need more silent weapons."

I nodded, smiling, and walked over to Lee, who was talking to Clementine. The little girl, who I'd learned was intelligent, far more mature than most of the adults here, and had that child-like cuteness, reminded me of Natalie, and we'd grown close. He seemed to be denying her something vehemently, until she gave him the puppy eyes. His face twitched and I watched with an amused grin, before he nodded reluctantly.

"Alright," Lee conceded. "But you have to promise to stay just outside, in Lilly's sight, and don't leave the sidewalk."

"I promise," Clementine replied readily, with a serious look on her face. "In Lilly's sight, and on the sidewalk."

"Good," he smiled, then looked up to me. "Mornin', Jack."

"Hi, Jack!"

"Hey, Clem," I told her, ruffling her curly hair before she put her hat on, shyly smiling to herself. "Lee, Lilly wants me with you guys. Some silence'll do us some good, she says. And anyway, arrows can be reused, bullets can't."

"Good point," Lee said, nodding as he stood. He dusted down his jacket and smiled hopefully. "Maybe we'll get some venison tonight, have a proper meal."

I smirked as Clem licked her lips. "Hey, now, Lee; don't get the girl excited - you are, after all, a fucking terrible hunter."

"Oh, don't start that shit again."

"Swear." Clem's quiet voice nevertheless struck a guilty cord for us both.

"Sorry, Clem."

"Yeah, sorry, Clem."

I looked up to see Kenny and Mark walking towards us, rifles in hand. Lee seemed to favour that axe of his, and I wouldn't part with my bow; I made it myself. Silently, the four of us nodded and began to leave when Carl shouted out to me.

"Jack!" He ran over to me. "Jack!"

"What is it, man?"

Carl suddenly looked very nervous; he began playing with his hands and looking down awkwardly. His mouth opened and closed like a goldfish, and I smiled at the comparison, but turned it into an encouraging one.

"I-I have to t-tell you s-some... something," he stuttered, icy blue eyes flickering between my face and the ground. "Be-before you go."

"Sure, what is it?" I asked, and he began stuttering even worse. He was incomprehensible.

"I-I... y-you see, th-the thing is..."

I nodded, motioning patiently for an answer.

"... nothing. Nothing, I'm fine."

With that, he turned tail and bolted to the door.

"Carl!" I shouted after him. "Carl!"

_"Will ya keep it down out there?!" _came Larry's irritated yell. _"Some of us actually have to sleep!"_

I rolled my eye and gave up, leading the way out. He'd tell me when I came back.

* * *

><p>I bit my lip and steadied my breathing before letting the arrow loose. It hissed through the air and thunked right into the bird's neck. One last squeak sounded as it smacked into the ground.<p>

"Jack," Lee greeted as I came out from behind the trees, while Mark bent down to the bird and examined it. "Mark was about to shoot it." The ex-Air-Force-man glared at Lee with betrayal.

"Lee!" he muttered to himself. I turned to him.

"I know; I saw him. You honestly think a crow with an infected wing is worth the noise _and waste_ of a bullet? That's why I shot it."

Mark's eyebrows rose, he flipped the crow around and saw the bleeding wing with the chew marks.

"Shit!" he cursed under his breath. "How did you see that?" Lee shot him a look and he turned his gaze down before I could say it was nothing. "Shit. Sorry. I didn't mean-"

"I know," I cut him off, taking the arrow from the crow, wiping it on my jacket and shoving it back in the quiver. "It's alright, but this is my good eye, anyway; and after a while you learn to look for details like that. No use in getting some in our stomachs if it's gonna turn us into walkers."

"Damn, you got that right."

Lee was about to say something when a scream pierced the air.

We all snapped to look in the direction of the voice.

"Shit!" Mark exclaimed. "Is that Kenny?!"

Lee snapped, "I don't know!" And we ran towards whoever was in pain.

The twigs cracked beneath our feet as we crushed them, bounding through the forest. It seemed to go on forever, until we passed into a clearing to a confusing sight.

A man in his thirties was lying on the ground, his leg in a beartrap as two teenagers crouched beside him, helpless, wearing the same outfit; some sort of school uniform. The shorter one, stockier, with raven black hair, was trying to prise it open, but to no avail. The tall, Shaggy from Scooby-Doo look-a-like, was quivering in fear, occasionally spluttering inane rubbish as he held his lanky arms close to him.

"Jesus Christ..." Mark breathed, and the teens jumped around, then held up their hands in surrender as they backed away fearfully.

"Oh, shit!" the black-haired one yelped. "No! No... please don't kill us! We just want to help our teacher! We'll leave, I swear!"

"Lee!" Kenny shouted concernedly as he ran up to us. "You guys okay?!" Then he turned to see the picture and his eyes widened.

The teacher tugged at the trap, then shot back in pain. "Get it off, goddamnit! Ge-get it off me!"

"Travis!" Tall-Boy exclaimed, with an idea. "Maybe they can help!"

Travis shook his head furiously. "These might be the same guys that raided our camp and... we barely got away from that!"

"What guys?" asked Mark curiously.

Kenny demanded, "Why the fuck is there a beartrap out here?!"

I stood forward, eyebrows narrowed. Tall, Pale and Lanky looked scared of my scars and eyepatch but I ignored him, focusing on Travis. "What happened?!"

"I-I... we were just coming back from a run, an-"

"Not that!" I told him quickly.

"We-well, we came through the forest and Mr. Parker stood on the beartrap! That's it!"

"No people around?"

"Not 'til you guys showed up!"

Mark groaned worriedly. "Lee, this is fucked up!" he hissed. "We gotta help 'em!"

"Please!" the tall one begged. Travis groaned and threw a dirty look his way.

"Ben, shut _up!_" he ordered loudly. "My dad was Special Forces, I know what I'm doing!"

I shoved forward past them and crouched down, checking the trap. A quick search told me what I needed to know. "No latch!" I said over my shoulder, when I growl caught my attention.

I glanced up to see a few dozen walkers stumbling out of the woodwork - literally.

"Shit!" I muttered. "Keep those walker's away! Lee, cut it off!"

"What?!" he exclaimed, startled. "Cut it off?! But..." After a minute he nodded and walked over.

I, in turn, stood and marched over to Travis, who was pointing a pistol shakily at the walkers, his hands like watered noodles clasped around a fork. "Give it here," I told him but instead of waiting for him to do so I tiredly snatched it from him and began firing, taking them down.

The screams sliced the air again, but louder and more painfully than ever before. As I heard the shlunk of metal against flesh I smirked and started walking over to the walkers, firing. Subconsciously I noticed that my 'gunfire walk' was exactly the same as Rick's, which ripped the smirk from my face with the memory of him shooting oncoming walkers with my charred body in his arms.

Mark yelled, "Damn it, Lee! _Cut off his fucking leg!"_

"We don't have time for that!" Kenny shouted over the gunfire. "I'm sorry, but _we have to go now!"_

"For, fuck's sake, _cut it off!"_ I demanded, and with one more swing the leg came off.

Parker sat up, looked at his leg, and passed out. I rolled my eye as Lee picked him up.

Travis yelled in terror, scrambling back into a rock as walkers descended upon him. Ben wailed for him and I shoved the pistol into my waistband before rushing over and cutting off the walker's head with my machete. Travis gaped like a goldfish before I snapped, "Run, you fucking idiot!" and he turned, sprinting to the others. A gnarled, rotted hand touched my shoulder but I shoved the machete backwards lazily, squelching the dead woman's brain. Travis had almost made it to the others but a gray, stinking corpse pounced onto him, knocking him to the ground before digging his teeth into his fleshy neck, tearing it out and munched on it as Ben screamed again.

I walked over and stabbed it through the back of the neck. As it fell to the side Travis held his throat with wide eyes. He gurgled painfully and said eyes met mine.

Nodding in respect, I got on one knee and touched his shoulder gently before raising my machete and slamming it into his forehead.

* * *

><p>Ben wouldn't look at me the whole walk back.<p>

I could understand that - I mean, I _did_ just kill his best friend (on second thoughts, I don't think they actually looked like friends) - but it irritated me that someone who has lived in this world for so long could be so emotional, especially someone his age. If it were Clementine or Duck, then fine; they're _children_, they have that excuse. But a guy older than me? Not on. I immediately placed him in the 'watch this fucker' category, because some part of me was whispering in my ear that he would fuck up, and _big_.

"Get the gates open!" Lee shouted, with Mark carrying Parker on his shoulder. "We've got wounded!"

I saw Lilly with a pissed-off look as she climbed down and everyone gathered around us. A flurry of voices rang around us like a death-squad's execution.

"What happened?!"

"Where should I put him?"

"Who the HELL are _these people?!"_

"Who's that?!"

"What's going on?!"

"Lee."

"I don't have time to explain!"

"Lee, are you okay?"

"Fine, Clem."

"Jack, what happened?"

"Beartrap and a ton of walkers."

"Lee!"

"Get him into the truck; I'll see what I can do."

"Kat, can you fix him?!"

"Jesus, Ken, I-"

"Lee! _LEE!"_

We all turned towards Lilly, who was glaring at Lee angrily, rifle clutched tightly in her hand.

"What the _hell!_" she demanded accusingly. "You _can't_ just be bringing more new people here! What are you _thinking?!"_

Kenny gritted his teeth irritatedly. "Hey, you wanna _calm down_ for a second?!"

"No, _I don't!_ I want to know why you thought bringing even more mouths to feed was a good idea!"

Lee curled his fists and argued, "He woulda _died_ if we left him!"

"So what?!" came the obnoxious, useless shouts of Larry, making me both grit my teeth and curl my own fists; something I figured many of us were doing.

Lilly continued her argument. "We are NOT responsible for _every struggling survivor_ we come across! WE have to focus on OUR GROUP, _right here, right now!"_

Carley, the general voice of reason when it was Lee's head on the chopping block, defended them by saying, "Well, hang on! We haven't even _talked_ to these people yet. Maybe they _can_ be helpful!"

"Come on, Lilly!" Mark pleaded. "These are _people!_ People trying to survive, just like us! We've got to stick together to survive!"

Then Lilly turned on him. "The only reason _you're_ here is because you had food. Enough for _all_ of us! But that food is almost gone! We've got _maybe_ a weeks worth left, and I don't suppose you guys are carrying any groceries, are you?" she asked Ben rhetorically; she knew he wasn't. Ben flinched.

"Um... no?" It sounded more like a question, but that was because he was afraid.

"And as for you two," she said, a little more softly, turning to Carl and me. "I'm sorry to say this, but if it wasn't for you being kids - and _still_being able to pull your own weight - you wouldn't be here."

"FINE!" Mark snapped. "You guys fight it out, then. Welcome to the family, kid," he told Ben before stalking off.

Ben seemed put on the spot. Having an intuition for this sort of thing, Clementine walked over and tugged at his hand.

"Come over here, and... see what I drew," she told him, trying to get him away from the argument just like she did for me and Carl. Ben tried to protest but she insisted, "Just _come on_, okay?"  
><span>

I gave her as best a comforting smile as I could, and she returned it as she left.

Kenny, however, was still angry, and brought up the same old shit the both of them always did. "You know, you like to think you're the leader of this little group, but we can make our own goddamn decisions! This isn't your own... _personal dictatorship!"_

Carley sighed. "Come on, you're being dramatic!" All eyes turned to her. "Everything _always_ turns into a power struggle between you two; I'm not gonna be a part of that!" She left with Carl trailing behind.

"She's right," I told them bluntly, tiredly. "Fuck this."

And I followed the other two. When I sat down next to Clem, she smiled and held up her picture for us to see. "Guess what it is!" she told us excitedly.

"Um... a dog?" asked Ben stupidly.

"No." Clem sounded disappointed.

"Oh, I know!" Duck piped up. "It's a goat, right?"

"No!" Now she was just annoyed.

"A cat?" Carl asked quietly, but immediately looked determinedly at the ground when I glanced up. What was wrong with him?

Clem grinned, eyes sparkling. "Yeah! It's a cat!" (AN: No offense, but how stupid are they?! In no way did the drawing look like a dog OR a goat!)

I tried to offer a smile, but I couldn't when he refused to meet my eye. Instead, I just sighed and pulled out my bottle. Thankfully we didn't have to worry about water - there was a small stream nearby. So long as we filtered and boiled it, we had a running supply. Tasted like shit, but hey; I've drunk worse.

"There you go! There's today's food rations!" Lilly told Lee, getting my attention. And everyone else's. "But there's not enough for everyone! Four bits of food for _twelve_ hungry people; you know what that means, Lee? Only a _third_ of our group are eating tonight, and the rest are _going to_ _starve!_ It's up to you! Good luck!"  
><span>

Lee looked down weakly at the food in his hands then around at the rest of us. Guiltily, we all looked down, but nobody missed the look of desperation on his face.

After a minute of silence, he came over here and crouched next to Clem. Good thing to; if he hadn't, I would've marched right over and knocked him on his ass for not looking after his little girl first. I knew she wasn't his daughter, but damn if she wasn't his little girl. He offered both her and Duck a packet of cheese and crackers each - whittling the food down to a half, and he knew it. Then he handed half an apple to me.

"Look, uh... could you two split this in half? I'm sorry to ask, but-" I cut him off.

"Sure," I told him with a smile and gently took the half-apple, cracked it into two quarter-apples, and handed one to Carl, who accepted it with a nervous smile. Carley got the strip of jerky - the five of us were neutral ground; Clem and Duck weren't involved with the politics of the group, Carl and I brought up our own points and clammed up when we were asked to pick a side, and Carley tried to keep the peace with Lee.

However, instead of eating my quarter-apple I slid it over to Clem; she loved apples, and when I slipped it into her hand she looked about to plead for me to eat it (she was the most well-fed person here, what with Lee and me always giving her our rations unless we were too starving to take it, and she was _still _skin and bones - if that doesn't tell you how low our food supplies were, then you have something wrong with you) but a quick look from me silenced her.

Then I got worried; there were still those walkers from earlier, and they were heading this way. I got up and walked over to Lilly.

"Hey," I said quietly, trying not to disturb the silence. She turned to me with a raised eyebrow. "I'm gonna go take care of those walkers that were following us. I'll be back in about half an hour, tops."

After thinking for a few moments, looking like a twisted version of some Greek goddess on her throne - probably Hera, I read she had a bit of a temper - she nodded mutely, offering a tiny smile. I smiled back and went on my way.

"Jack." I turned to see Carl standing there, blushing red - obviously still embarrassed about his... _little display_ earlier. He took a breath and looked me in the eye. He was nervous, definitely, but also he looked... determined? "I'm going with you. It's been too long since we've been out, doing this. You know, just the two of us, taking out walkers."

Smiling, I nodded. "It has. Come on, let's kill some dead."

* * *

><p>We were on our way back from our 'mission' and the silence was deafening. Eventually Carl just stopped. I turned to him and narrowed my eyebrows.<p>

"Carl?" I asked concernedly, looking over at my best friend. Was he still embarrassed? "What's wrong?"

He swallowed and licked his dry lips, eyes flickering, then began to speak.

"W-well," he began, taking breaths as though he were building up to some grand finale. "I need to say... something. It's something that I've been meaning to say for a while, now, but... guess I just couldn't."

"But now you can?"

"Yeah," he replied quietly, huskily, almost. It made him sound a little like Daryl. Then he spoke a little louder. "You see... thing is, I..."

I nodded, eyebrows raised, waiting for him to say whatever he needed to say.

"I... well, I..."

Eventually he just sighed.

"Fuck it."

Then he did something I never thought he'd ever do.

He kissed me. On the lips.

* * *

><p><strong> Well, there it is. Carl has feelings for Jack, but does he return them, or just see him as a little brother?<strong>

**It's nighttime and I'm tired, so I'm going to just leave it here and go to sleep. Goodnight!**

**SD OUT**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey, guys!**

**I know this chappie is short, but it's really to do with... well, I'm sure you've guessed.**

**Let's get started; I'm sorta tired and I have a ton of homework!  
><strong>

**Chapter 3**

I was frozen in shock. He was kissing me. Carl, my best friend, a _boy_, was kissing me. His hands were on the back of my head, holding me there, until he was finished.

Slowly, reluctantly, he removed his lips from mine and looked me in the eye, our noses touching, before he turned tail and bolted back to the Motor Inn, a strange sound coming from him. I followed and bent down when I reached the tarmac. I saw the wetness and knew.

He'd been crying. He kissed me, right out of the blue, ran away and was crying.

I swallowed and looked over to our room. I knew he was sitting on his bed, still crying, so I didn't go in. To be honest I couldn't - I just _couldn't_. I just went into the motel to see.

Lee, Carley and Ben were missing. And everyone else looked like they were getting ready to leave.

I walked over to Kenny, who was propping up his whatever in the RV, and tried to smile, but I failed. "Hey, man," I said, causing him to jump. I slightly smirked and let out a low chuckle. "Sorry. Where is everyone?"

He rubbed his moustache and smiled. "Jack, we were just waiting for ya. Couple of guys came around - they got a farm with milk and dairy and butter and... _food!_ So Lee took Carley and Ben with him to see if it was legit, or if we gotta fight for what we've already got." He was getting increasingly frustrated. "Which, if you look around, you'll see ain't much!"

"Alright, alright, man," I told him, patting him on the arm. Then Kenny bit his lips and furrowed his brow.

"By the way," he said, sounding awkward. "What happened?" He jerked his head in the direction of my room. "Don't wanna pry, but-"

"It's okay," I told him, smiling. "It's nothing bad, just... something."

Once Kenny nodded I left and decided to check on Clem. She was kicking a football (or 'soccer' ball, now that I was in America) against the brick wall. Honestly, I preferred just to go with a neutral, slang term: fitba.

The fitba made a soft crack each time it hit, then she'd move over to kick it again.

"Hi, Clem," I said, smirking. "Y'know, fitba's a lot more fun when there's more than one person involved."

The little girl looked down, blushing slightly. "I know," she admitted embarrassedly. Didn't really get why, though. "But Duck's terrible at this. I used to play at school; I was on the soccer team, but I didn't really like it."

I fake-gasped, holding a hand to my chest. "Don't say that!" I pretended to admonish her. "That's big business, y'know! Especially in Glasgow!"

"Oh, yeah?" she asked, giggling. "Well, what team's the best?"

I took a deep breath and pretended to think hard. "Well," I began slowly, with a fake narrowing of my eye. "I might be slightly biased, but (AN: No offence meant to any Scots - or others - who support other teams!)... _Celtic, Celtic, Celtic, Celtic, Come on you Bhoys in green! Come on you Bhoys in green! Glasgow's green and white, Glasgow's green and white!"_ I hummed the respective tune and watched Clem snicker to herself. "What?" I asked confusedly.

"You look so silly!" she burst out, then held a hand to her mouth. "Sorry, but you do!"

I chuckled, nodding. "Yeah, it is kinda silly. It's just a game, but people got riled up about it. It means a lot to them, following their teams around the globe. See that feeling, of sitting in the minibus, everybody in the same shirt with a scarf on and talking a load of rubbish while your team's song's are playing in the background...? There's nothing like it."

Clem smiled and kicked the ball to me. I grinned and caught it with my foot, before hopping over it and tapping it wit the side of my foot. She ran over, stopped it and kicked it back, and it went like that for a few minutes.

And then Lilly came out with Larry (arsehole that he is) and announced that we were about to leave, so I flicked up the ball and caught it before throwing it into the back of the pickup truck - just as Katjaa closed it. The ball smacked into the metal and she jumped, holding a hand to her chest as she threw us a surprised glare.

"Uh... sorry," I apologised lamely, rubbing the back of my neck. Katjaa sighed, shaking her head fondly before she turned back and sorted the last of everything. Clem was looking down with a mischievous smile; one I'd come to associate with when she played some sort of prank on Duck. "What?"

"... nothing," she said airily, looking over at my room before walking away. I narrowed my eye; what was she smiling about?

Shaking my head, I walked over and knocked on the door. A short sniffle was heard before everything immediately stopped . "Carl?" I asked carefully. I could almost feel him tense up. "Umm... we're gonna go, check this place out. Come on."

I stood there, waiting, until the door opened and Carl walked out, looking down, he refused to meet my eye, but went over to Clem, ruffling her hair (which I suddenly noticed was devoid of her hat) before nodding to Kenny and leaving, walking alongside Mark.

We walked for about a mile when Clem came over, looking worried.

"What happened?" she asked softly, glancing at my (best friend?) as he tried to smile at a joke Mark had made. "I won't tell, promise."

Slowing down slightly, so nobody could hear, I lowered my voice and, with a slightly choked voice, said, "He kissed me."

Clem's eyes shot wide open.

"Yeah," I told her, swallowing. "I don't know if he... or just... I don't know."

"You should talk to him about it," she said, her eyebrows narrowed. "It won't go away."

I smiled; in a lot of ways, this little girl was wiser and better than the rest of us. "Thanks, Clem. But he doesn't want to talk to me. I, uh... guess he just needs to think it through."

"Well, what about you?"

I cocked my head slightly. "What?"

She smiled and leaned in conspiratorially. "How do you feel about him?"

I licked my lips and furrowed my brow, deep in thought. How _did_ feel about Carl? I knew we couldn't exactly call each other 'best friends' anymore, especially in this world, where we've been fighting to survive since day one. All we had was each other all those weeks, just trying to stay sane. I'd never really thought about him like_that_ before; hell, I never thought of _myself_ as that before, and it made me nervous. I usually took pride in knowing what everyone was like, who was going to snap and when. It was how I survived until I found Rick in Atlanta. And to be honest, I didn't know if Carl was about to snap.

And then there was Sophia.

Shit. Innocent Sophia, my girlfriend. _Girl_friend. Emphasis on girl. I'd liked her, a lot; she was pretty, sweet, caring... I really enjoyed her company before...

... but did I like her the way I _thought_ I did?

I sighed, immediately feeling a wave of anger at Carl. Everything was so fucked right now, and then he goes and complicates it with this shit?! None of us needed this. And even if I did like him - which right now I'm pretty sure I_don't_ - I didn't think most here would accept it. Larry was just a hateful bastard, sure, but the others? Kenny? He was a Southern Christian man. Two things which - traditionally - don't accept that kind of thing. Maybe he'd be different? Duck'd probably just go 'ew!' but grin at the same time, kinda like Clem. Lee wouldn't give a fuck, and neither would Carley; in fact she, Lilly and Katjaa would probably think it was 'cute'._  
><em>

Wait, since when was I evaluating everyone's reactions to... _this_?!

"... I don't know, Clem. I just don't know."


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey, guys!**

**Loving the response! Keep 'em coming! Also, xRinneandSharinx: wow, morbid much? Ha ha ha.**

**Anyway, let's get it started!**

**Chapter 4**

We walked up the pathway of the dairy, admiring the electric fence - Duck nearly touched it before it suddenly zapped on and Katjaa yanked his arm away. Larry kept grumbling about something or other, not that I cared, while Lilly pursed her lips; he was trash-talking Lee behind his back again. Honestly, what was his problem with the guy?! Was he racist or what? I rolled my eye and glanced down at Clem, who shook her head angrily, glaring at the rear of his head. I ruffled her hat-free hair affectionately and Kenny called out to Lee, Mark and the farm owners.

"Hey, y'all!"

At the same moment we all noticed the arrow sticking out of Mark's shoulder.

"Mark!" Katjaa exclaimed worriedly. "Oh, my God; what happened?!"

"He got shot with an arrow," Lee answered calmly, though a tinge of anger ran beneath it. Lilly's eyebrows hit her hairline.

"Christ, are you gonna be okay?!" she asked, concerned.

Offering a small smile, Mark replied, "Yeah, I'm fine. I should just... pull it out..."

At that moment a large woman with frizzy red hair descended down upon him like an bear heading for it's prey.

"Oh, no, honey, c'mon; Brenda's got you," she cooed. "C'mon inside now. We'll have you all sorted out."

I quirked my face at her motherly concern, as did Carl - before the turn it would've been endearing, but now...? It was disgusting. Carol was about the only one who could pull it off, and that was back in Atlanta, when she was still just a scared, beaten wife. A part of me knew that if she made it off of that farm then she would become one of the strongest people we had. Still, back to the present - hey, that reminded me of that movie! (AN: Back to the _Future_ I know) - I saw Carl narrow his eyes at the poor imitation of his own mother. I looked away; I was still mad at him. Brenda took Katjaa and spoke with her as she escorted Mark up to the house.

And then Larry got to work, tearing into Lee.

"What kinda shit is _this?!"_ he demanded, spittle almost hitting the Georgian professor in the face, though he kept his face like stone._  
><em>

Lee stood his ground and answered evenly, "We ran into some people on the way up here... bandits, I guess. I think it was them who attacked us."

The older-looking brother, with strong, groomed features, combed, short black hair, dark, intelligent eyes and a black-grey striped polo shirt, said in a strong Southern accent, "They gave us a lot of problems in the beginning, killed a bunch of our farmhands. We were able to get 'em to stop by makin' a deal."

"You _knew_ about these people?!" Kenny interrogated furiously.

The younger brother was a bit of a runt; skinny compared to his brother, he had tufted black hair, a softer - if creepier - face, an emotionless voice and a gormless expression. His attitude clashed with his colourful blue polo shirt. "Food for protection," he drawled. "Not like we had much of a choice, but they _did _stop hasslin' us!"_  
><em>

"Goddamnit!" Larry grumbled. "Carley said this place was locked down tight!" For once, Lee agreed with him, and I felt the same way; this place felt too open, too safe, too... Old World. It reminded me of parks and swings and all other _bullshit_, and I almost sneered at the resemblance - places like this didn't belong in the Apocalypse, it would all be torn down soon, I just knew it._  
><em>

"Maybe it isn't as safe here as we thought," Lee muttered to himself.

"We're sorry!" the older brother pleaded. "We've never had them screw with us like this - not since we started givin' 'em food!" An angry look covered his features. "Look, we made have had an agreement with those people, but we will _not_ stand for this shit!"_  
><em>

"Ain't no way we're gonna let those sons o' bitches get away with this!" his brother agreed.

Kenny narrowed his eyes. "You know where these assholes are?" The younger one nodded.

"They're hard to pin down, but I think I know where at least _one_ of their camps are." He turned to Lee. "When you're ready to go scope out that bandit camp, come find us."

"Bandits?!" Lilly hissed disbelievingly. "This place isn't safe! We can't stay here!"

Kenny raised his eyebrows challengingly, arguing, "_Safe?!_ This place is a hell of a lot_ safer_ than that motor inn! I think all of us and our _guns_ can handle a few punks with _bows and arrows!_ Uh, no offence," he told me. I nodded, signalling it was no trouble.

"Sorry, but I'm with Lilly," I said, drawing Kenny's glare. "It's too open. Without gasoline the fences can't be powered and without the fences this place is worthless; as soon as we've drained the last of the surrounding cars we'll be sitting ducks."

_"Thank you!"_ Lilly sounded thankful to have someone speak up on her behalf, although most of the time I tended to (privately) agree with Kenny. Still, if push came to shove, it would be Lilly focused on protecting the group whilst Kenny would grab his family and make sure they got far away. He was a good man, and tried to do the right thing, but he was too hot-headed and protective.

Kenny bit his lip, but nodded respectfully. "Anyways, we can at least stay here for a while, which is what we need to find a way to do - get our _whole_ group out here, to _stay_. Take this place over if we have to."

"Whoa, cool your jets there, Rambo!" Larry warned, though his eyes were on the house. "These are nice people. Let's not do anything to get us thrown out before we eat!"

Lee kept his gaze from the large man and asserted, "I'm gonna head out and help Danny find these bandits. You guys should try to make friends with Andy and Brenda while I'm gone."

"Well, that's easy," Larry said, with a slightly amused glint in his eyes. "I've got charm comin' outta my ass!"

I gave him the stink eye - I still didn't like the fucker, no matter how funny he tried to be. Lilly seemed to share my sentiments.

She looked down embarrassedly, though a fond smile had creeped onto her lips. "Yeah, that's... real charming, dad."

"Where's Ben and Carley?" asked Lee. Lilly looked a little pleased with herself.

"Since Carley and Ben ate some of the food on the way back, she volunteered to stay and watch the motor inn until we get back."

Then Andy - the older one - came over with a smile towards Clem and Duck. "Hey, kids!" he greeted. "Look what Lee got workin' for ya!" He pointed over to a homemade swing hanging from a tree branch, which looked brand new.

"A swing!" Clem breathed in awe. "I love swings! Just like at my treehouse! Come on, Duck!" She stopped in front of her guardian and grinned. "Thanks, Lee! You're the best!"

"Yeah!"

The two ran off and the rest of us watched in amusement. Those two were such kids; well, Duck never changed, but Clem was a little more mature, until something like this caught her juvenile eye. After a while we broke up and all did our own thing.

* * *

><p>I stood leaning against the barn, watching the birds fly south in the cold fall air. Birds. They always knew where to go, where home was, where they needed to fly when it got cold, and where their family were. Huh, family. I had none left. My mum was dead, my axe in her brain; my brother was dead, chained to a wall with my bullet in his brain; my little sister was dead, her corpse buried under the Greene family farm, my bullet through her brain; my dad was dead, lying cold with his guts spilled out over the grass with my bullet in his brain. Shit, all I had left of the Old World was Riley, my baby sister - my <em>baby<em> sister. If anything happened to her...

I exhaled and and uncrossed my arms, breathing in the air. The clouds were floating above, like huge pillows in the sky, tempting us to reach for them, desperate for rest. But that was a luxury in short supply now. No peace, no rest. The punches were just going to keep coming. Until one day... that punch hit us, and it was us stumbling through the streets, moaning for food.

"Um... Jack?"

I turned to see Carl standing next to me, awkwardly scratching his arm. He quirked his mouth and gave a weak smile, which I attempted to return. We stood in silence for a minute, the seconds slowly ticking by...

"Y'know-"

"I just wanted to say-"

We both halted, frozen, waiting for the other to continue before the seemingly physical barrier threw us away. I nodded to Carl, who sighed.

"I was gonna say... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have... kissed you. Especially like that, right out of the blue. It must've took you by surprise." I remained silent, nervously chewing my lip. It was strange how something so... _childish_ could reduce me to crumbling bricks. "And, uh... I know that you're not... I mean, you're not... you're not..."_  
><em>

"... gay?" I supplied quietly, watching as Carl looked down ashamedly.

"Yeah. I know I'm... basically your little brother, like you said at the farm, but I... I wanted you know, I _needed_ you to know! I... just couldn't hold it in any longer. And I'm sorry, to... complicate things, with this... but I've had enough of just, _running away from my problems!"_ His voice was croaky, almost angry, and his fists were clenched as he fought back tears. "I'm not gonna just ignore it anymore! I know you're not like that, but..."_  
><em>

Our eyes met, brown to blue, and he quietened down. Slowly, carefully, he leaned forward, as though searching for permission, and I just stared right back, scared to do anything. Just waiting, for something, anything.

Then our lips met and he began kissing me again. Only this time, I kissed back.

I timidly raised a hand to his face, enjoying the sensation. It wasn't these... sparks like with Sophia, or nothing at all, but just... a _flow_. Everything seemed to move in motion. I couldn't feel the wind, or the... the wood against my back, or even the ground beneath my feet. I was swept away, off my feet, as cheesy as it sounds. I was such a control freak that I needed to know everything about everyone, and a lot of things were done on my terms. This... kiss... had me _way_ out of my comfort zone.

And I loved it.

Stroking his face, I felt the soft skin smooth out under my fingers, and Carl's arms snaked around my waist, holding me in close. He kissed more forcefully, but not uncomfortably, just pushing more of his feelings into it, and I nearly gasped. For once, I wasn't in control, I wasn't dominant to everyone, but just... just another person. I felt grounded, human. More so than I had in a long time.

He pressed me harder against the wooden wall and kept kissing. Carl slid a few fingers under my shirt and felt the skin beneath, making my breath hitch.

We stayed like that for a while, I don't know how long, before gently, softly, he removed his lips from mine. I was well aware of his warm hands still on my waist, stark against the bitterly cold air. Our faces were still close together, and I noticed for the first time that he had, in fact, grown taller than me. I bit my lip again and we stood, letting everything that had just happened wash over us.

Carl swallowed, then smiled, more confident now. "So, uh..."

I blushed, shaking slightly. "I guess we..."

"Yeah."

I let out a small breath of laughter and, casually as I could (which wasn't much) pressed a kiss to his cheek, making his own face redden, and we both grinned. Unable to help myself, I laid my head against the top of his chest and bit my lip excitedly.

Things had definitely changed.

* * *

><p><strong>Well, there's that question answered: he lied at the farm. They're together now, which PMs have been badgering me for (I'll admit, I was expecting flames) and I'm as excited as Jack - well, almost - to hear your response!<strong>

**You might have noticed that Jack takes on a sort of... I hate to use the term, but 'submissive' role? I don't mean that in a sexual sense (thank God) but in a sort of 'when they're together he doesn't have to stick his head out, and can just be himself instead of acting tough for everyone' kind of way.**

**And if you don't like the story, or if any parts bother, well: 'Don't Like, Don't Read'! **

**See ya next time!**

**SD OUT**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey, guys!**

**I woke up this morning and saw the reviews and PMs saying great job on them and things like that, and it just set up the amazing atmosphere for my day! What I'm saying is: thanks and keep the reviews comin'! Seriously, like, writers _live_ off of reviews: they are our currency; when we run out of reviews to spend, we starve to death, if the dehydration doesn't get us first. Hey, I'm not joking!**

**Well, here goes!**

**Chapter 5**

Carl and I were sitting on a hay bale in the barn, just talking to each other. Since our... ahem, 'get together' things were going good. That is, in the past few _hours_ since we _became_ a couple. Shit, for those who still don't get it, I'll spell it out.

We. Were. Making. Out. Simple, you got it? Good.

I smiled into my boyfriend's lips as he kissed me. Damn, I never thought I'd say I had that. A boyfriend. Huh. Guess I'm not as much of an arrow as I thought. More of a roundabout. Hehe... a roundabout. As straight as a roundabout; the juvenile name for people like us, well, it made me chuckle, albeit a little nervously.

I still hadn't gotten used to being... well, gay (yes, finding out you're not what you thought you were your entire life is a little shocking), but then Carl'd kiss me again and it'd go away. Returning the force of the kiss, I grinned and edged closer to him, not that we could _get_ much closer, that is.

But then we got interrupted.

The sound of someone clearing their throat made us jump apart in fright. Oh, god, who was it?!

Of course it was Clem. Who else?

The little girl stood with a large smirk, her eyes glittering amusedly. She had her hat back; guess Lee found it, which meant he was back, and her stained sundress glowed in the lamplight, making her look a little like an angel. I smiled at her once I got over her finding us... like that. You see, we hadn't told anyone, just snuck to the back of the barn and had a short talk before getting to business, but I knew Clem wouldn't tell anyone; well, maybe Lee, but hey, I didn't care if he found out. Didn't think Carl did, either; he didn't, judging by his own smile.

"Hey, Clem," he said a little too fast, and there was an awkward silence. "This... isn't what it looks lik-"

But he was cut off by the little girl's giggling. Immediately the both of us glared confusedly.

"You two are funny! You think we couldn't hear you?"

A few snickers further down the barn got us both to pale. What?!

I raised my eyebrows and shot to my feet. "Who is it?!" I hissed worriedly, jerking my head in their direction.

"Duck, Katjaa and Andy. Lee got back a little while ago and he found my hat! But then he looked over here and laughed a little. We wondered what for, and we heard some weird noises. Duck and me wanted to come over but Andy and Katjaa stopped us. Eventually I got allowed, but Andy wanted me to say not to 'do any freaky stuff in his barn.' What did he mean?"

I gulped and Carl let out a breathy laugh, sounding nervous. "Maybe... when you're older, Clem. A lot older."

"You're not that much older!" she insisted. "You're not adults!"

I sighed and grabbed her shoulders, then she turned to me with a cocked head, reminding me of a baby seal - adorable and irresistible. Weakening, I closed my eyes and opened them, saying, "Well... Lee'll have to tell you that. But Clem, could promise us something?"

At hearing me say 'us' instead of 'me' I heard Carl shuffle slightly. I guess he liked it, too.

"Promise us not to tell anyone," I told her seriously. "This isn't something we want the others to know, just yet."

"But why?" Clem asked, confused. Oh, she was so innocent. "Why can't they know?"

I swallowed and looked her in the eye as Carl sat down. "Well, a lot of people... especially here in the South," I began slowly. "... they think that what we're doing is... wrong. Not right. Immoral. Sinful."

"Why?" she asked, narrowing her eyebrows. She couldn't understand why these two boys she really liked and thought of as family shouldn't be allowed to kiss each other. It just seemed wrong to her; why shouldn't people do what they like? "Why do people not like it? If you love each other, it's okay, right?"

We both blushed furiously at that. I didn't _love_ Carl - well, I did, but I wasn't _in love_ with him. At least, not yet. It was far too early for that!

"Well, we know that, don't we? But, some people think that... well, boys shouldn't do things with each other that they do with girls. Some people think that because of their religion, or some just hate people different than them. In fact, some are afraid we'll hit on them!" We all giggled a little at that - yes, like we were all Clem's age. "But let me tell you: we've got better taste!"

We laughed again and Clem nodded.

"Promise. I won't tell anybody."

Me and Carl looked at each other before enveloping the girl who'd become like a little sister in the space of a few weeks - she was great like that; it didn't matter who you were, everybody loved her.

"Thanks, Clem," Carl said, exhaling. "Really. If everyone finds out, we want to be the ones to tell them. Then we've got no one else to blame but ourselves for the teasing! I mean seriously; what if Carley finds out?" He shuddered exaggeratedly. "She'll mess with us for days!"

After another round of laughs we saw Katjaa, Duck and Andy walk over with smiles - well, Duck had a silly grin, but he always did, so there you go - and Katjaa looked down fondly.

"We won't tell anyone," she promised, and Andy nodded with a smirk. Duck just looked at a beetle passing by.

Andy continued, "It's your secret to keep. But, uh, just promise me one thing: don't make out in my barn again."

Carl and I blushed again as the others laughed at our faces.

* * *

><p>But apparently someone else found out, because everyone already knew! Fucking brilliant!<p>

We discovered that when Kenny grinned at us - a little nervously, but he was trying - and came over.

"Listen, uh, (clearing of the throat) I... I don't really care. It's fine by me. It's just... a little surprising, is all. And awkward. And slightly weird. But, hey; they was a gay guy in my school, so-"

"Wait!" I cut him with a narrowed eye. "How did you find out?! Who told you?!"

He just glanced around shiftily and left. The both of us seethed.

"How the hell did he find out?!" Carl fumed, fists clenched. "That farmer better not have told him!" Sensing it was going to go beyond angry hisses I rubbed his arm.

"Hey," I said, as softly as I could. "It's alright. Everyone was going to find out about us; this way we don't have to tell them all. It's easier this way."

He set his jaw. "Yeah, but, but... how are they going to react?! Like you told Clem there aren't many people who'd just accept us! You think we just so happened to get stuck with a bunch of people who will?!"

"Hey, hey, hey; why should we care what they think? As long as they don't kick us out, we're okay, right? I mean, who's gonna give us shit for it? Larry? That fucker can go burn in hell! Kenny and his family are alright with it, the brothers don't really care, and Clem thinks it's brilliant! You honestly think Lee cares? That guy's got secrets of his own, why should he? Lilly? She's too preoccupied with keeping this group together!" My voice softened and I gave him a small smile, rubbing his arm. "I've got an idea: I'm going to make it clear for everyone who doesn't know. Except for Carley and Ben, since they're at the motor inn."

Carl's brow furrowed and he took my hand. "What do you mean?"

I rolled my eye. We were standing in the middle of the courtyard; everyone could see us.

Smiling, and hoping this didn't backfire, I kissed my boyfriend softly in front of everyone.

* * *

><p><span>Clem's POV<span>

I grinned as Jack kissed Carl. They were so... oh, what's the word for it? My mom had said the same thing about a couple kissing on a park bench before... oh, yeah! Cute! They were cute! Lee raised his eyebrows and patted my shoulder.

"Well, I wasn't expecting that," he said surprisedly in his calm, deep voice. "Those two together... wow." Then he narrowed his brow and turned to me with a smirk. "Did you know?"

"... I don't know..."

Lee rolled his eyes and rubbed my neck, making me smile. Then Kenny came over.

"Uh, Lee, can I talk to you for a second?"

* * *

><p><span>Carl's POV<span>

Well, there's everything out in the open.

Honestly, I'd wanted to wait, and get used to being with Jack before everyone found out, but I guess we didn't have much choice. Seriously, though, I felt a little relieved. I was angry at whoever had told, but relieved that I didn't have to be the one who did.

Still, I immediately felt protective over Jack. Almost possessive, even. He'd been through too much, he'd lost too much, _done_ too much, and it was a miracle he wasn't completely broken! If anything happened to Mom and Dad... and that's why I wouldn't let them hurt him any more than he has been. It felt a little strange to be feeling like this; all these months he'd been protecting me, and now I was feeling protective over him! He'd been putting up this strong front for months, and it was cracking, with Jack directly beneath it. I could see it; he couldn't handle losing much else. Neither could I.

I still hadn't told him. It was my fault.

I'd been out in the forest, that day before... all of that happened. Shane, Dale, almost Jack, then Robert the day after... I stole Daryl's gun and ran into the woods. I wanted to prove, to myself, that I could make it. That I had what it takes to survive in this world, just like my crush could. And I found a walker. I threw a few rocks to make sure it was stuck in the mud before walking over and trying to shoot it. But I couldn't. It had looked so human, and... I just _couldn't_.

Then it came, and killed Robert. Because I was a coward, Robert had been killed. Because I got scared, my boyfriend lost his dad. He hated him, for sure, but I knew he really wanted him back, even though he wasn't willing to risk Riley's safety to do so. He'd placed his baby sister over everything else, and I'd made his efforts worthless.

That was why I'd sworn: I'd never leave a threat alive. If there was no guarantee of it dying, I'd kill it. Make sure it didn't come back to kill us.

Because I had something to protect now. Something that, despite all outward appearances, was breaking under the pressure.

And I wouldn't let Jack die. That was my oath.

* * *

><p>We were sitting at the table inside the farmhouse, waiting next to Jack as the meat was passed around. There were two large plates in the middle and people taking pieces - long cuts of juicy steak, it looked like. But I thought Maybelle was the only cow they had? The rest were all killed by bandits.<p>

Jack took my hand under the table and gently rubbed it, easing my nerves. I just needed to eat; I was thinking crazy.

A few cuts were slid onto our plates and I saw Duck digging in, not caring about dinner manners. I smirked; the boy was hungry, and to hell with people, he was getting his food! Jack chuckled and we shared a glance, just looking at each other for a minute.

"Would you mind keeping the PDA to a minimum!" Larry grumbled as everyone else giggled slightly, then drew all our glares. He didn't seem to notice. "Fucking..." He muttered something unpleasant, which everyone heard, and Clem held her hands over her ears in shock as Lilly reprimanded her father.

_"Dad!"_ she hissed. _"We're at the dinner table! Show some manners!"_

He rolled his eyes and I glared. Hypocrite!: he'd been flirting with Brenda all evening!

The tension began to ease a little and we continued eating. Clem looked like she wanted to wait for Lee to come back but her hunger eventually won out and she slowly raised a forkful of steak to her mouth.

Then Lee burst into the doorway.

"DON'T EAT THAT!" he yelped, and we all dropped our forks, except Duck, who kept eating until his mother took it from him.

We all asked him what was wrong, what had gotten into him; surely nothing had changed in the short time since he'd been to the bathroom. Then again, he had been gone a while...

Lee looked furious. His teeth were bared and he seemed to be a rage-filled wolf protecting its cub. "This woman, right here, is fucking _insane_!"

We were all taken aback. What?! Sure, Brenda was a bit too, smothering, but what about her was insane? Jack seemed to have figured it out, though, as he was glaring full force at the mother St. John.

"This woman made you a home-cooked meal, you ungrateful shit!" Larry spat. "Show some respect!"

Brenda straightened up in a dignified manner. "Thank you, Larry," she said, glancing at her sons, who kept eating as though nothing was wrong.

"You don't even have the DECENCY to take a hand-out when you're offered one! It just makes me sick, it really does!"

Brenda began to calm Larry down, but Lee was snarling at him now. I guess even his patience has limits.

"You know what? _Fuck you, Larry. Eat up_," he sneered, although it sounded more like a threat.

"I will, and I'll enjoy _every last bite!"_ He took a chunk of steak and slowly ate it in front of Lee.

Lilly looked confused, and demanded, "Lee, what the hell is wrong with you?!"

"Don't indulge him, Lilly," her father soothed. "It's always something with this guy!"

Lee seemed as though he couldn't hold it in any longer. He curled his fists and growled, "They're picking us off to trade as meat!"

Jack just narrowed his eye, looking from one brother to the next as his grip tightened around my hand protectively.

"You're outta your skull!" Larry shouted.

Lee yelled back, "Mark is upstairs right now with NO LEGS!"

I gasped. We... we were eating Mark? Our friend's legs, his cooked flesh, was on our plates? In our stomachs?! Oh, God... I wanted to puke, but I saw Jack's face.

He was as pale as a ghost. His hands were clenched even more tightly around my hand and on the table. His eye kept twitching and he put his hand on his own legs, rubbing up and down as though they were burning him.

Burning him...

... oh, God! He was remembering! The time when... and now someone else, our own friend, no less, had faced a similar fate, and he hadn't even noticed...

He was shaking, sweating, and I rubbed the stump of his left pinky, where the walker had bitten him in Atlanta.

Lee resignedly looked at the red-haired woman and pleaded, "Brenda, PLEASE tell me he's _not_ being eaten right now!"

All eyes turned to Brenda, except her sons. Danny was calmly eating his slice of human leg - fucking cannibal - and Andy was smirking as he shook his head.

"... it's true."

Danny swallowed and said quietly, "Everything coulda turned out okay for you folks."

Andy nodded and dismissed our horror-filled faces, stating, "He woulda died, anyways! We gotta think about _livin'!"_

"Settle down, honey," his mother gently chided, then turned to the rest of us. "Growin' up in rural Georgia, you're taught not to waste. It's how I was raised, and how I raised my boys. Now, you've got _monsters_ runnin' around that do nothin' but eat people! And for what?!" she sneered. "To continue to rot 'til they eat some more!"

"You're all sick..." Lee spat. "... _sick in the head!"_

"Lee, that's not a very nice thing to imply." Brenda's voice was calm, cool. "Andy is right; we go after folks who were gonna die anyways, one way or another."

We all just thought, terrified, at the implication, which was confirmed by Danny.

"... like y'all."

Lee quickly shouted, "Kenny, get your gun!"

The Florida man got to his feet, but couldn't do anything before Andy shoved a gun to Lilly's throat and threatened, "Nobody's goin' anywhere!" Danny snatched up his rifle and pointed it at us all. The rest of us were scared out of our wits while Jack and Lee just glared at them, though the memory of his flesh burning was still making Jack's legs itchy, judging by his continued scratching.

"We got lots of use for y'all right here," Danny said amusedly. With Andy's gun pointed at him, Kenny gave up and sat back down.

Larry just spluttered his disbelief as Lilly demanded that they put their guns down and let us go, Kenny threatened them not to touch his family, and everything was a blur, until Andy dug his hand into Clem's hair and yanked her from the seat, and the little girl screamed in pain.

Lee growled and jumped at him, shouting, "I'LL KILL YOU!" but he was stopped by Danny's rifle at his throat.

Then a painful groaning came from the hallway, along with some thuds, and slowly... Mark crawled out into our sight, with two bloody stumps at the ends of his thighs.

_"Help..." _he croaked, reaching out to us. _"... someone..."_

We all watched in horror until Lee jumped to help Clem, yelling, "Cle-"

But then he was knocked out by Danny's rifle's butt in his face.

_"Lee!"_ Clem wailed, but was yanked again by Andy.

"Shut up, you little bitch!" he snarled, and smacked her over the face.

Then Jack snapped.

He stood to his feet, pulling out his gun. The barrel was pointed right at Andy's head. An enraged look was on his wounded face. His scars were protruding, dangerous and his eyepatch was darkened by the shadows. All in all, I was terrified. Not of him, but for him; what he'd do.

But I didn't get the chance to find out.

A loud bang sounded, echoing to the mountains. Jack's body fell onto me, bleeding from his back. Danny stood with a satisfied, sickening grin on his face.

That fucker... I looked up at him and snarled.

"I'm going to kill you."

* * *

><p><strong>Is he dead? Is he? Huh? Psshh! Of course not! I need him for this!<strong>

**Or do I? Heheheh... (grins evilly)**

**It all depends on you. Enough reviews and he shall live. Not, and he will die. Painfully. It's all in your hands... mwahahah...**

**SD OUT**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey, guys!**

**I can't believe the amount of people who think I'm actually going to kill off my main character - who I've spent so much time investing in - with a simple shot to the shoulder in the St. John's farm! I wouldn't do that; without Jack, my story just would not work.**

**Anyway, let's cut off my rant before I start.**

**Chapter 6**

Carl's POV

I held Jack's head in my hands as I sat slumped against the wall. Lilly had managed to stop the bleeding from his back and front, and now she was retching, occasionally getting some bits of Mark up onto the floor. The sight made me pissed, even more so. Those psychos had... _chopped up_ our friend and fed him to us! Larry was banging on the door, screaming abuse at the non-present farmers as Kenny paced up and down, ranting worriedly over Katjaa and Duck, who the brothers had taken and Clementine was next to a comatose Lee, trying to block the whole thing out. I wanted to reach over and take her in my arms, hold her close, keep her safe, but I couldn't, and I knew it. She would flinch, jump back, throw her arms around her guardian, and nothing would be helped. All I could do was sit her and wait for Jack to wake up.

Which, thankfully, he did.

He groaned painfully, hissing as he sat up. "Hey, hey," I whispered, grabbing his unwounded shoulder. "Don't stress it. Lilly fixed you up as best she could, but we're stuck here. Meat locker. Are you okay?"

Jack nodded, patting my hand. "Fine," he croaked. "Just thirsty as hell." He looked around worriedly. "Where's Katjaa and Duck?"

"I'll tell ya where they are!" Kenny shouted angrily. "Those fuckers still have 'em! We gotta get 'em back!"

"We will!" Jack told him firmly, setting up his 'tough' barrier again. "But we have tae get ootae here, furst!" I gave him a weird look. "Whit?"

I shook my head. "Nothin'. Just... your accent's comin' through. And it sounds weird, cos' you sound half-American." He rolled his eye exasperatedly and gathered himself.

"Right. Sorry," he muttered, climbing out of my grip and looking at Lee, who had come to, with Clem fretting over him and telling him the situation. "You okay, man?"

"Yeah," the teacher replied gruffly, getting to his feet. "How about you?" A simple nod answered the question. "Good. How do we get outta here?" he asked no-one in particular. When he didn't get an answer he shrugged and looked around.

I walked over to Clem and offered her a small smile, which she hesitantly returned. "Are you scared?" Nod. "Well, you shouldn't be. I'm not." Cock of the head. "Well, Lee's gonna get us outta here, isn't he?" Furious nodding, with an eventual grin.

"Let's help him!" she insisted, crossing her arms smugly.

"And how do you suggest we do that, darlin'?" Jack asked, grinning. She pouted at the pet name. "Sorry. But hey, see there? Those screws he's looking at?" She nodded. "Well, what do you think would fit in them?"

"A screwdriver?" she asked, eyes wide and adorable. Jack smiled, but shook his head. Again, she pouted. "Well..." She looked closely at the gaps. "I have a rock."

"A rock won't help us," Lee commented. "But a... a _coin_ might do the trick! Do any of you have a coin?" he asked excitedly. We all shook our heads. "Damnit!"

Larry kept pounding on the block of steel, breathing increasingly heavy. "I'll... I'll break the damn door down!" My eyes widened. Oh, shit! His heart condition!

"Hey, Larry-"

"Shut up, little cowboy!" he roared, spittle flying from his mouth. "I'm gonna kill these- ARGH!"

"Dad!" Lilly shouted in alarm as her father gripped his chest and fell, crashing, to the ground.

He was still.

Silent.

Lifeless.

"Oh, nononononono... Dad?" She listened at his mouth. "He's stopped breathing! I-I think he's had a heart attack!"

Clem, whimpering, latched onto Lee, who rubbed her neck comfortingly for a moment before focusing again on the matter at hand.

"Shit! Is he dead?" asked Kenny warily, looking terrified.

Lilly growled. _"He's not dead! Somebody help me!"_

"Fuck..." Kenny swallowed nervously, shaking slightly. "If he's dead..."

**"He's not dead!"**

"You know what has to happen, Lee."

Jack, lips pursed, glared at the unmoving body of the one of the most despisable people we'd met, as though he wanted nothing more than to do the deed himself. Yet behind it lurked something sad, pitiful, that made me take his hand. The corner of his upper lip quirked, but even that was fake. A pragmatic coldness was settling in both of us.

"We can't kill him if he's not dead, Kenny!" Lee argued, grasping at straws, and he knew it. I licked my lips and spoke up.

"He's right." Both of them turned to me. "It has to happen." Although her eyes did not move from her father as she administered CPR, I could see the betrayal, a betrayed crack that hurt me inside, but I remained resolute. Jack nodded mutely beside me, and Kenny looked slightly triumphant behind the saddened realism.

"Thank you. Lilly, I'm sorry - I truly, truly am, but in a few minutes we're gonna be stuck in a meat locker with a 300-pound, _seriously pissed off_ dead guy!"

"Fuck you, we can bring him back!" Lilly shouted. "Lee!"

"Come on, Lee, you can't be in the middle on this one!" Kenny pleaded. "I need you to have my back this time!"

"Damnit, Lee, I NEED you! PLEASE help me!" Lilly begged, tears beginning to fall as her pumps began to weaken on her father's chest.

Lee stopped, looking at the ground. Something changed in him; a switch clicking on, and he breathed deeply. I wondered what was going on in his head: he and Larry had had some convoluted rivalry going since before we met them - hell, Lee had gotten so angry as to watch him eat human flesh - but killing him was a different story, and he knew it. I thought to myself in that instant, could I do it? Kill him? I mean, I'd taken down walkers; we had to to survive, but I'd never actually killed a man, a living man.

To be honest, I don't think I could.

Which was why, as Lee crouched down to help Lilly, Kenny yelled angrily, and he and Jack heaved up a salt lick, I sat back down and held Clem close, keeping her face hidden in my neck as she cried and cried. I was close to breaking down myself, only my gritted teeth stopping it; she was so innocent, untouched, and it was killing me to have her witness this.

I closed my eyes and waited for it to be over.

* * *

><p><span>Jack POV<span>

God, why did we have to do this?

Why was it always either the assholes or the innocent that get killed, and never the evil?

That question rang through my mind as me and Kenny walked towards Larry, the salt lick taking all of our strength to hold up, and not due to its weight. Larry was an asshole, but he was _our_ asshole; no matter how much he shouted and bawled and treated everyone like crap, he had actually come to, maybe not care, but give a damn for this group, although his daughter came before it all.

I didn't like him, but I hated this, and I could tell Kenny felt the same as we slammed the block down on his head.

Wait!

Oh, god, oh god, god!

He... he...

I swallowed as I took in the sight.

Just as the block left our fingers, just as Lee finished his seventh pump, Larry's lips parted for just a second, a quick draw of breath before everything above his bottom lip became a bloody stain on the steel floor.

I backed up, looking down in guilt. My throat was blocked, and needed more than a few gulps to clear. We murdered him. We murdered him.

It wasn't like the runner brothers, or Shane or Mike's boys or even my mum, my dad, Davie, Natalie and Sophia. Larry bore no harm, not at the time, all he wanted was his daughter out of there. His anger and fear got the better of him and just as he came back, we tore him from Lilly again.

"God help us."

Kenny's statement summed up my feelings right about now, even if I didn't believe. Lilly's crying, Lee's shocked look, and Kenny's guilt-ridden face made me turn away.

He was an asshole. Our asshole.

"Kenny!" Lee shouted. "What the fuck!"

"I'm sorry. I-I'm so sorry..." His face hardened. "But it had to be done."

_"You don't know that!"_

"Yes I do, Lee!" the fisherman growled. "And so do you! I was countin' on you, man."

Breathing deeply, Kenny walked slowly over to Lilly and crouched down. He seemed... awkward. Uncomfortable. Guilty.

"I'm sorry," he tried weakly. "I know tha-"

"DON'T YOU FUCKING TOUCH ME!" Lilly screamed, throwing him away. Then I heard sobbing. Clem's sobbing.

Latched onto Carl, she asked quietly, "I-Is it over?"

He comfortingly rubbed her back and whispered softly in her ear, "Not yet. We need a way out. Through the vent, remember? But hey; think about something else, okay? Something like... I don't know. Whatever makes you feel safe." Then he let her go and Lee spoke to her as he came over to me. "Hey."

I closed my eye and inhaled. "Hey."

He pursed his lips, as though working something up. "Does it ever get easier?"

"... no."

Carl nodded. "Not sure if that's good or not."

"Yeah."

"Had to be done."

"I don't know. Maybe."

"It _did_," he said firmly, taking my hand again. "We need to get out."

"Yeah." I knew I was being a dick, but I didn't want to talk about it. Not now. He was right; we needed a way out.

So I squeezed his hand and started looking around for something to help open that vent.

It wasn't long before I heard a creaking beyond Lilly's sniffling. I glanced back. Lee and Carl were sitting down the air conditioner to reveal the vent.

The first thought to enter my mind was: 'Well, that's small.'

Seriously, it was a tiny hole. In the spy movies you see these huge gaps that somehow manage to just fit the hero's size, no matter how tall or small. But this... only one person could fit through there.

And she was in before I finished the thought. Clem, our little Clem, had gone alone, into the wolves den, like a sheep to slaughter.

Who knew what was there when she got out?

I thought my answer was revealed as she gasped in fear, clearly audible through the vent. It sounded almost... muffled.

"Clem?" I breathed.

* * *

><p><strong>Ooh, Clemmy-Clue's found something! Or has it found her?<strong>

**Next chapter will reveal the fate of Clem, the St. Johns, Katjaa and Duck and a certain 'abandoned vehicle'...**

**I know it's short, but it's been too long, and I needed to get this chappie up before the computer overheats again.**

**See you next time!**

**SD OUT**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey, guys!**

**Sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I have ****no excuse except for my own complete laziness.**

**Warning: this is a dark chapter with tons of self-blame, insanity, and a touch of love to brighten it up.**

**Honestly, I felt so bad writing this chapter; I really just want to give Jack a break, but clearly my muse has other plans.**

**So, let's get started.**

**Chapter 7**

My breath hitched as the wooden pole slackened in my grip. Rain poured down outside, its comforting pitter-patter broken by the occasional boom of thunder. Straws of hay cracked and crinkled beneath my feet and my chest heaved. I scrunched up my face and the black patch rubbed uncomfortably against the unbroken skin. My long, leather jacket whipped across my ankles with the heavy wind, revealing the blood-spattered jeans and muddy boots. I let go of the pitchfork and stumbled back, gazing horribly at my hands.

A droplet of red fell from Danny's spluttering, choking mouth and ruined the calm puddle behind him. I must've pierced his lung, I noted dimly, before catching sight of my reflection. My reddened, dark, gloomy, bloody reflection. For the first time in... a long time... I saw myself.

I didn't know what I had expected to see: a young man covered in mud and dressed like some twisted version of a goth pirate? Or an evil smirking villain, leering ominously through the darkness? But it wasn't this. I didn't expect just... a boy. A teenager. Some... kid dragged through a hedge and catching his hands on the blade-like branches and twigs, just come from a Halloween party. That wasn't what I felt like.

I looked down at Danny again, still now, and the tool of his murder slipped out, clattering to the floor. But still I stared. Still I looked. Because this was me. I killed him. And he had no way of defending himself. A small whimper comes from only a few metres, yet feels like a mile. A cold hand tugs at my shoulder, a soft, familiar, "Hey,"... but I don't hear it. Don't register. Nothing passes by, except the memory.

_Flashback Start_

_I stab Danny in the shoulder with the claw weapon I picked up from the slaughterhouse. Where those sick fuckers hack open human beings to eat and sell off. Clem had seen it. Climbed out of the vent to that bloody horror, heard Danny's furious mutterings, and opened the door to let us out. Kenny and Lee took a weapon each and snuck in, behind a stall as Danny smirked and continued muttering his way over, tripping over his own feet and aiming that rifle in between the gap, straight at Lee's face.  
><em>

_So I stab him. Kick him. Watch him stumble backwards over the hay bale and drop his gun as he stands in the bear trap. His screams bring a smile to my face. 'He deserves it,' a quiet voice whispers in my ear. It was seductive. Alluring. And it made me kick the rifle as he squirmed in pain, before picking up the pitchfork, aiming coldly._

_"Go." I am quiet... cold... unforgiving... and I don't have to see Lee's shocked face to know he is terrified before running off with Kenny._

_Despite the pain, the shock, the hopelessness of his situation, Danny laughs. 'Insane,' the voice whispers. "Ya see?!" he giggles. "Ya understand now, don't ya? You can have ME!" I sneer; eat him?! I don't think so! I actually still have my mind!_

_'Do you? What has he done that's worse than you?'_

_"It's how the world works now!" he continues ranting, waving his arms around in glee. "Give part of yourself, so others can live!"_

_"Shut up!" I snarl, but I'm not sure who I was speaking to. Him? Or myself? My own twisted subconscious? "Shut the fuck up!"_

_"Ya gotta keep me alive," Danny says, low and serious as he gives his advice. "If ya kill me, the meat gets tainted! Ya can't eat it!"_

_'He has a point...'_

_"I said shut the fuck up!" Again. Who?_

_Instead of following up with his psychotic ramblings, Danny changes his tune, mocking and spiteful. "You ain't gonna kill me," he whispers quietly, glaring at me. He sounded almost... disappointed. "Just like yer pal Lee couldn't kill Jolene. None of ya have what it takes. Bunch of fuckin' cowards..."_

_He wouldn't shut up. He just wouldn't shut up._

_So I made him._

_Flashback End_

Another tug pulled me from the memory, the firm hand and the soft voice. "Jack. Come on. Jack, we gotta go."

Carl. My mind takes it in, processes it, analyses it, and tells me: Carl. My... best friend? Boyfriend? Lover? I wasn't too sure. I didn't care. He was there. He was... familiar. Enough to wake me up.

I blink. Once. Twice. Once more, before turning emotionlessly to him. His face... stone. Nothing. Nothing there. I didn't need it. His face, I didn't need it. His hand. Other hand, it was holding my own. The right one, not the one with half a pinky, and rubs it. It was... what was the word... comforting.

Carl. Rick. Lori. Boyfriend. Dad, Dad figure. Boyfriend's Mum.

Daryl. Merle. Okay. Asshole.

Hershel. Maggie. Beth. Grandpa. Sister. Both.

Carol. Ed. Sophia. Sweet Sophia. Innocent. Dead Sophia. Me. My... fault.

Shane. Insane. Dead. Happy.

Lee. Clementine. Friend. Little sister. Protect. Need.

Gun. Revolver. Dad.

Dad. Walker. Guts. Gun. Gunfire. Big bang. No more Dad. No more Daddy. Water, tears.

Yeah, tears. They fell, at the time, right? Didn't they?

No. Now. Now tears fell. Why?

_Murderer. Killer. Thief. Torturer. Psychopath. MONSTER! Your fault!_

Mum. Brother. Natalie. Dad. Shane. Sophia.

_Your fault. All your fault. _More tears.

_Murderer. Killer. Thief. Torturer. Psychopath. Monster._

_Murderer. Killer. Thief. Torturer. Psychopath. Monster._

_Murderer. Killer. Thief. Torturer. Psychopath. Monster._

"Carl."

One word. It leaves my lips. Smooth. Rolls... nicely. Is that the... word? Blue eyes. I see... blue eyes again. Skin. Two hands, two palms. They are against my... cheeks. I... focus on the eyes. No more blur. No, no no no, no more blur. More tears. More blur. Thumb, Carl's thumb, it wipes them away. Clear now.

"Am I... am I a... a m... a mmm..."

"A what?" Worried voice. Caring voice. Nice voice, good voice. Ears like the voice. "Jack, wh-what are you saying?"

Mouth opens, strange noise come out. "A monster? C-Carl... am I a monster?"

"No!"

No... hesitation. No waiting. He didn't... think. Didn't need it. Did he? Eye, it... narrows.

"You're not, okay? You're not a monster, alright, now snap out of it!"

Worried. Worried good, right? Worried means... care. Care, care, care. Head, it... shakes. Vicious.

My eye narrows and my teeth grit. "Okay, that was fucking scary. We... we need to move." My voice is breathy, but Carl has a little smile playing on the edge of his mouth.

"Good, come on!"

He grabs my arm and pulls as we rush off, but not before I see Clem's face. Not Lilly's; I couldn't give two shits about her, not once I saw Clementine. Her sweet, innocent face contorted into...

... into fear. Fear of me. No matter what Carl said, I knew the truth. I had seen it in the little girl's eyes.

She was terrified. Terrified of the monster I had become.

* * *

><p>Lee stood up from Andy's broken, beaten body. The rain, still battering down, had soaked us all to the bone. The thunder no longer caused a flinch, and the crack of lightning killed the sky. Lee's fists were red with Andy's blood, his knuckles split and broken, but he showed no pain. Instead he stumbled back, catching his breath from the fight.<p>

"Is that all ya got, Lee?" Andy hissed through his bloody mouth, sitting up. "You... you ain't _shit!"_ He spat, crunching as a few teeth crumbled out, dropping uselessly to the drowned grass.

Lee snarled. "IT'S OVER!" he roared.

"Fuck you!" Andy sneered, showing a dark purple welt above his brow. "As soon as Danny and Momma get out here..." He stood. "You're all _fucked!"_

I saw the blasts of beaten red, mounds of bruises and tons of cuts from Lee's furious hands. The staggering cannibal's closed eye, blackened beyond the night and molten oil dripped from his chin.

"They're not coming!" Lee shouted angrily.

Andy's face melted. "What do you mean, Lee?" he asked quietly. Pitifully. "Lee, what did you... _do?!"_

Lee did not answer. Instead he leaned down, picked up the rifle and turned, walking towards us.

"DON'T YOU DARE WALK AWAY FROM ME, LEE!"

But Lee just kept walking.

"GET BACK HERE AND FINISH THIS, LEE!"

Lee shoved by us, muttering, "Come on, come on."

"LEEEEEE!"

I couldn't watch this... this broken man. I couldn't watch any longer. But I wasn't Lee. I wasn't going to let this fucker come after us again.

So I took out my Python and marched forward, before I was stopped by a familiar face in front of me.

"Please, Jack," Carl begged, holding me back. His hands were tight on my shoulders. "Don't do this. I can't watch you turn into this... not again." I could feel Clementine's terrified eyes behind me, and I saw the fucking bastard cannibal beat to shit. It would be so easy to just end this now. Now I had a choice: the group's trust or their safety? Could I risk either one?

Then I looked Carl in the eyes again.

_"You're not, okay? You're not a monster!"_

_Murderer. Thief. Torturer. Psychopath. Monster._

_Murderer. Thief. Torturer. Psychopath. Monster._

_"You're not a monster!"_

_"Not a monster!"_

_"You're not a monster, alright, now snap out of it!"_

So I do.

I hand over my gun. My Python. Carl, he holds it tightly, swallowing as he looked me in the eye resolutely.

"Besides..." he continues darkly. "I already made a promise."

* * *

><p>Lee walks at the front of us, rifle in hand and ignoring everyone else. Honestly, he reminded me of Daryl right now, which contrasted with his usual cheery, yet gruff nature. The march in his foot steps practically bellows: stay away!<p>

Clem was a few metres behind him, looking down forlornly. She wiped the rain from her forehead and I noticed it had stopped. Now, only a few chirping from the crickets broke the deafening silence, besides the squelching of our feet in the mud. Carl and I were at the very back, behind Kenny and his family. Kenny was limping to make sure the gunshot wound in his gut didn't get worse, though he flinched every few steps, tripping over a stone or something.

I glance over to Carl. He looked haunted. His heavy eyes were a dull, cloudy blue and bags were beginning to form. His skin had paled long ago and he still was yet to say a word or remove his hand from my Python. His lips were pursed and his hat tipped forwards to hide his face from the others. He slumped, dragging himself with us. I sighed tiredly, not knowing what to say. But I had to try, right?

"I, uh..." He looks over to me. Great. Idiot, Jack. You had to, didn't you? "I would say that... it gets easier. After the first time. I'd say that, you get used to it. It stops hurting. But..."

"It doesn't," he finishes glumly, closing his eyes and handing over the gun, which I sort behind my belt. "I know. Doesn't matter. I had to do it. Had to."

He was beginning to fall back into depression, so I did the only thing I could: I took his hand. I rubbed the back of it and caressed his fingers gently, feeling him move a little closer as we walked.

"Yeah, you did."

* * *

><p><strong>A little short, but hey, I can only take so much of this in one sitting. I'm starting to get depressed myself.<strong>

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**Next chapter: Season Three Profile**

**SD OUT**


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